Friday, June 5, 2009

Cabin Fever

It is almost Cabin season. I love our cabin. Be it small, cozy and old. With it's minor upgrades and adjustments, it has mostly stayed the same throughout the years and has been a private retreat for our family. I have many, many memories at this cabin including birthday parties, unsolved mysteries, and miscellaneous dead creatures.

In my sophomore year of college we were assigned to go on "Artist Dates", which I suppose meant spending special, quality time with the Artist inside of us, then write a paper. I chose my first date to be at the cabin.

Creative Writing Lisa Marie Durham

Artist Date 1 09.05.02

Cabin Retreat

I don’t mind living at home, in fact I would prefer it that way for the moment because I couldn’t afford it otherwise. But when you get the first taste of not having to ask or answer to anyone, it is difficult to go back to the chronic supervision and constant interrogation of where you are going and where you have been. This was all emphasized last night and triggered an uproar inside of me to pack up and take off at 10:30pm to Heber, where our cabin sits nestled above the 18th hole of the Homestead golf course.

The drive there was quick because in my attempt to be alone I received a phone call from a friend who needed to vent repetitively about the same particular subject, her new found love not dedicating enough time to her putting her “emotionally at risk” even though they have been dating since….last Monday. However, I didn’t mind it. By the time I finished handing out my quality professional advice I was unlocking the door to my temporary solitude.

It wasn’t until I sat down in the dark silence, (mostly to get used to the fact that my friends voice was no longer in my ear) that I realized I was on my Artist Date I was assigned to take. I then decided to not do the usual cabin routine and chose to absorb the moment I was in. I noticed things I hadn’t usually noticed while I am there. I have never been there alone without sound. There is usually a movie, music or the company of others to keep the interior alive with motions and clatter. This time I heard everything outside and felt as though I was being listened to instead of me doing the listening. There are more creatures closer to my cabin than I thought. Nothing that was large or dangerous, or even scary. But the small curious animals that wonder why I am there.

Even though there were stars in the sky and I could see them from each direction, it began to rain. I felt so comfortable and best of all GLAD that I took the spontaneous move in driving there on a whim. When I was little I loved to set up umbrellas and throw blankets over them, then crawl underneath. No one knew I was in there (or so I thought) and I adored that sense of invisibility. The cabin took the same effect that night. No one knew I was there, I hadn’t told a soul. I was under the blanket and felt safe and unreachable.

I chose this event as my Artist Date because it was the first time the idea of it came to my head instead of me thinking of something to do for it first. (I’ve never been one to ask someone out first.) So I believe I was taken on this date. I enjoyed my time alone and it worked perfectly for this paper. Clearing my mind, opening new windows of vision in a place I have been a millions times before and finding out that I haven’t noticed things that have been in front of my face each time. I look forward to the next time I have the opportunity to be taken out again.

1 comment:

Laura Lee said...

I love our cabin.

Good essay. I love how you said you felt you were taken on the date.

That was perfect.