Dear Criminal,

That iPod you stole right out of my car was a gift from my husband. So not only have you taken away my portable music, but the portable reminder of the love we share as husband and wife. I hope you enjoy my wide selection of music. Please listen to the following songs:

-Killer is Me (Alice in Chains)

-Been Caught Stealing (Jane's Addiction)

-Guiltiness (Bob Marley)

-Temptation (New Order)

-Don't Just take it away (Yo Gabba Gabba)

The sun glasses you are now sporting were my husband's that he chose himself in Las Vegas. He likes them alot. They are polarized. Really high quality stuff. Please use the case that you also stole, to protect them from scratches.

As for the garage door opener. Not only is it scary and disturbing that you took it, but it gave us incentive to set traps all over the house. So if I were you, I wouldn't come near us again unless you have a tetanus shot handy.

Enjoy your loot. And enjoy it now, because there is a special place for you when you die. Where they don't let you listen to iPod's. You may want the sunglasses though...