My Macrocosm: ROAD RASH

Head first, into some broken, bubbly asphalt.

Current Jack Quote:

12/12/12

"Mom, this is how you get a baby: you cut a hole in your stomach the shape of an egg. Then you swallow an egg. It lands in the hole.. then grows into a baby."

02/02/12

‎"Jack, who drew this picture for you?"
"Victoria."
"She drew a picture that says 'I love you' and gave it to you?"
"Yeah. It was kind of awkward."

12/23/11

"Mom, if I'm bad and Santa comes and brings me a giant rock, I'll be so excited to climb on it! I hope that happens some day."

10/27/11

(at the Primary Program rehearsal, Jack got up to say his part that he memorized, but then, gave an unexpected shout-out..)

"Prophets prophesied about the life of Jesus Christ. I LOVE YOU JESUS CHRIST!"

10/13/11

"Mom, what's a "herd"?"

"It is a group of the same species."

"Oh. Like Lib and Soph." (My friends twin daughters.)

10/02/11

(While watching Toy Story 3)

Me: "Look, Molly is holding the monkey."

Jack: (under his breath) "I hate that monkey."

10/01/11

"Mom, I put my blue jay in the closet to keep him safe from creditors."

Good move, Jack. They're bad people.

09/28/11

"Can a candle glow in daylight?"

If a tree falls in a forest...

09/28/11

"Mom, is it time for school yet?"

"Jack, it's 11:00 now, school starts at 12:15."

(short pause)

"There's not enough hands on the clock."

So true, Jack. So true.

09/12/11

While embracing both Josh and I, "We're like a REAL family!!"

09/11/11

"Mom, did you know Jesus is nocturnal?"

08/23/11

"Guess what mom, I almost cleaned my room."

Guess what Jack, I almost bought you a toy."

07/21/11

"Mommy, my tummy is grumbling so loudly I think it's gonna SCAPLODE!!"

05/03/11

"Jack, why didn't you have show and tell today at school?"

"Well, we had to work- ..... it's a long story."

I hear ya, buddy.

03/28/11

"Someday, you'll make a great mom."

Thanks, Buddy.

02/14/11

"Brr MOM IT'S COLD!!"

"I'll turn on the heat."

"I wish I was in an egg shell and you could sit on me to keep me warm."

02/13/11

"Jack, do you know the story of Noah's Ark?"
"No.."
(tell story)
"...so, the rains came down, and the floods came up."
"Who made the flood?"
"God."
(moment of deduction..)
"Soooo, GOD made our BASEMENT FLOOD?!"

01/23/11

(in Jack's prayer..)

"Please bless that dada will come back.."

Amen, Jack. Amen.

12/29/2010

"I wish we could take a star out of the sky to put on top of our tree.."

12/16/10

(I hear a little toot...)

"Jack what was that.."

"It was my Bum talking to me."

"What did it say.."

"It said 'Hurry up Jack! You're gonna be late for school!"

12/15/10

(After seeing a puppy that was named 'Jack')

"Mommy, that was me when I a was a dog."

10/17/10

"I need to eat breakfast or my tummy will pop like a balloon."

09/08/10

Me: "Jack, it's going to start getting cold outside."

Jack: "Is it going to Fall?"

Me: "...Yes, it is going to be Fall."

Jack: "I can't wait for it to Fall. Then I can Halloween."

(Jack is turning nouns into verbs.)

09/10/10

"What is this for?"

"It's to help mommy try and have a baby."

"I know how you can get a baby, just ask Kelly!"

(My sister-in-law, who has had 4 babies..)

08/10/10

(while jumping on my bed)

Me: "Jack, please stop."

Jack: "But mommy, just let me play. I'm really good at playing here."

06/08/10

Jack: "Where are we going?"

Us: "Home."

Jack: "Why?"

Us: "To check on the basement."

Jack: "But the basement is dead!"

06/05/10

"Mommy! I just did an arabesque!"

05/30/10

(arriving in Snow Canyon, St. George UT)

Jack: "Mommy! We're in Radiator Springs!!"

05/20/10

(after a bout of silence riding home in the car..)

Jack: "Mommy? .... Do you like sugarplums?"

05/18/10

(putting Jack to bed)

Jack:"Mommy I want some juice.."

Me: "Jack, every time you drink juice before bed you pee your pants- in fact, you pee your pants even when you DON'T drink juice before bed."

Jack: "That's my point."

05/15/10

"Mommy, your plants are doomed."

05/08/10

Jack: "Mommy why are the hairs on top of your head white?"

Me: (utter sadness...)

05/03/10

Me: "Jack it's almost time for bed."

Jack: "Don't be ridiculous."

04/01/10

ME: "Jack, will you please close the refrigerator door.... Jack... please, please shut the fridge door.."

JACK: "Save your batteries, mom."

ME: (Speechless. Jaw dropped to the floor.)

03/25/10

"Mommy, I lost my noise."

(Jack, at 6am, woken with a hoarse cough.)

03/17/10

(After waking up from a nap on the airplane:)

"Mommy, my schwet is wet."

03/15/10

Jack: "I like your bum mommy, it's so smacky."

02/28/10

Jack: "Mommy? ...said Eva. Can I have some more Juice?"

Me: "Sure, Eva."

Jack: "....said Mommy."

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

ROAD RASH

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